The size of the room after 15 years...

Do you remember when you were little and your parents told you that they will explain something to you when you get older? You never thought that back then that day would actually come so you begged and begged for them to tell you explaining how grown up you were for being able to reach the cereal in the cabinet or touch the ceiling while jumping. Well for me that "when you get older" stage has come. Since I've been home my mother has been filling in the gaps of her and my father's divorce and stuff before that too. When she tells me these things I'm never really prepared. I don't ask her she usually just volunteers the information out of the blue. 

My mother has told me stories of reasons why they ended up divorcing and people in our lives back then and the true meaning behind their presence. I've asked my father several times for his side of the story cause I don't want to be bias to one side. But he refuses to give an explanation and tells me it's the past and I should move on. I was the biggest daddy's little girl growing up, until my dad moved out. I thought the world of both of my parents but there was something special about my father. 

Back then when I looked into the living room it was giant, it's own little world. I could do everything in that room from going from country to country on the couches to playing house. I thought that that room was soo big but now that I moved back I realized that the living room is just a living room. My expectations for that room was soo grand even though my imagination fufilled my expectations, it was just my imagination. 

I feel like the information that I've learned about my father has altered my perception of him. I understand that knowledge would alter anyone's perception but I was not expecting by this much. I was never too nieve growing up but you always think highly of your immediate family, it's like they cannot do any harm.