For the past couple of months no actually years really we have been speaking to each other on and off. We would argue about my relationships and what I should and should not do in my life. To me friends do not argue or judge or criticize (critiques on the other hand are fine). The arguments always felt stupid and pointless to me most of the time he put me down and judged me as a person in some way, shape, or form. I felt like every time I talked to him I was being policed asked where I went and with who and my relationships were always a problem.
I really thought we had an understanding about how I felt towards him but I guess I was wrong. It saddens me that I have to throw away a friendship that lasted so long but I cannot keep putting myself through this. I feel like my friend should be there to encourage, support, be a shoulder to cry on if need be, tell them when they are wrong, and give advice. To the best of my ability I've been there for him in those ways but his reciprocation of that behavior is judging me. For these reasons I have not made an effort in going to see him since I came back in town.
Well I'm at my tipping point I've done everything I could to salvage our friendship but I guess I was trying to hold on to the past in doing so. Like I said in an earlier blog Friends are like seasons they come and go. Well this long season has just ended. All I have left is stories to tell cause I cannot continue.
I feel wrong letting go, but to keep me evolving its the best thing I can do for myself. A strong person can only take so much harm before reacting and this is me reacting...
-Evolving
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