25 June 2009

Question

Hello beautiful womyn! I am currently working on some semester final papers due in a couple of days. This means a hold on The Fantasy... until the papers get done (4 maybe 5 days). So in the mean time I have a question.

If you are going out with a friend or friends to a movie, dinner, or dancing/club, how much would you disclose when you are in a relationship or just dating? Do you give her the answer to Who, What, When, Where, and How?

I brought this up because I read No Love Lost by A Brown Girl (check it out!). She talked about “just dating” and how sometimes dating may not turn into relationships.

So are there differences in disclosure for dating than in relationships?

I would think so because if I were in a relationship with someone I would tell all… to an extent. Not a “keeping secrets” extent but a “trust me” extent. I want the person that I am with to trust ME to do the right thing, not my friends.

As for dating, I would not tell all. If there is openness to our communication, there should not be a problem with whom I am hanging out. It should be understood that dating is exactly what it is dating.

So tell me ladies what would you do?

3 comments:

CoolieYan said...

I agree! i am a very open person and usually answer any question asked, but if I think I can skip the details and still give an open and honest answer, I try to do that. I usually disclose too much while in the dating process and find that I prob shouldnt have done this so early on.

Nona J. said...

When I'm in a relationship, I disclose more important information, but I don't tell everything. I would want the person I'm in a relationship to trust me to the point that they don't have to know everything and vice versa.

When I'm just dating someone, I let them know that I'm dating other people. From that point on, I won't bring it up nor discuss it- and vice versa. If I can see me potentially being with them, then I'm more open.

EvolvingContradiction7 said...

CoolieYan: Thanks for your answer!

Tmboy: Really? I think there is reasons even in a relationship not to share things. Specially when it is not a big deal and you know your partner will over react. No need to get your partner to over react if it is not necessary. For dating I do agree with you "just dating" you can share as much as you want or as little as you want but not sharing would not be a problem for me. I am not sure how you came to the conclusion that what ABG was talking about was booty call/F buddy type of relationship but that is not how I interpreted it at all. Dating is dating. Thanks for the comment!

Nona J.:I completely agree with you! Thanks!