Question

Hello beautiful womyn! I am currently working on some semester final papers due in a couple of days. This means a hold on The Fantasy... until the papers get done (4 maybe 5 days). So in the mean time I have a question.

If you are going out with a friend or friends to a movie, dinner, or dancing/club, how much would you disclose when you are in a relationship or just dating? Do you give her the answer to Who, What, When, Where, and How?

I brought this up because I read No Love Lost by A Brown Girl (check it out!). She talked about “just dating” and how sometimes dating may not turn into relationships.

So are there differences in disclosure for dating than in relationships?

I would think so because if I were in a relationship with someone I would tell all… to an extent. Not a “keeping secrets” extent but a “trust me” extent. I want the person that I am with to trust ME to do the right thing, not my friends.

As for dating, I would not tell all. If there is openness to our communication, there should not be a problem with whom I am hanging out. It should be understood that dating is exactly what it is dating.

So tell me ladies what would you do?

Wednesday Crush of the Week: Moon Bloodgood

So I decided to start a blog once every hump day for a little boost to get you through the rest of the week. Hopefully it strikes conversation, blogging, gets you out of writers block, or maybe just as simple as a little eye candy... Enjoy!

The fantasy... Pt. 3

I started off telling you the story like every fairy tale story is told by saying, "once upon a time there were two females". You laughed at me but I told you I was being serious. I continued the story it was of the first time we officially met.

We met in the cafeteria of our university we were attending during breakfast. I was a sophomore and you were a senior. I was not sure why I did not meet a year ago, but I just figured we were not supposed to meet until we did.

We both worked out in the morning and I would see you come into the cafeteria a few minutes after everyday. I got the courage to say something to you when we almost bumped into each other. I was going to get a seat while you were going to get your food. I asked you to sit with me and you did.

While we were talking I asked you about your workout plan. You told me about it then invited me to join you the next day. I was nervous after I said yes because you told me you started at 5am. But I kind of liked you so I wanted to get to know you. I gave you my number and where I lived then went off to class.

The next day came and you met me outside of my dorm room. I was excited to see you again. The rest is history.

By the time I finished telling you the story I realized that you fell asleep holding me. I knew you were tired from all the driving you did so I let you sleep. I laid in your arms thinking about how favored I was to have you in my life. After a while I fell asleep too.

The next morning you woke me up with your soft kisses on my neck. I moaned and said good morning turned around and kissed you back. The kissing started to get passionate I held your face in my hands. My hand slowly moved away from your face and I began to slowly caress your soft body.

Our kissing never stopped but you began kissing my next and I your ears. We both moaned in approval. You asked me if you could kiss me all over my body. I remember telling you while moaning yes baby you can kiss me anywhere you like.

To be continued...

The fantasy... Pt. 2

You managed to come out of the bathroom naked; I could see all your curves. I loved starring at you naked. The mens clothing you wore always covered your body but your stud swagger was still strong in all of your nakedness. When I came out of my daze I told you to grab my iPod out of my bag and bring the towels. You came outside put the towels down and docked the iPod in the jacuzzi then pressed play. You were complaining that it was soo cold and I could see you were cold because your nipples were perking. I asked you to please come join me.

You got in right next to me and realized I still had my bra on; you were soo quick to take it off of me. I gave you a kiss it was soo passionate. We got soo close to each other that our breasts were touching. Your body felt so good on my body. I gave you a big hug and then gave you my hand. I told you I loved you and that I was excited to be there with you. You explained to me that you knew I was stressed and needed a break.

Although you supported me through school, sometimes you felt neglected and I knew that and felt bad. I really did not know how to make this situation any better so I just avoided the conversation. All I knew was that I loved you and you loved me.

We had a long conversation about it while we were in the jacuzzi. I came close to you and started rubbing your back while we talked. You loved when I rubbed your back and I loved how you felt in my hands. I knew it would make you sleepy so I decided that we should get out of the jacuzzi and on to the bed to cuddle.

We ran back into our suite dried each other off and got into the bed naked. To the left of our king sized bed there was this window and when I looked out of it all I could see were stars. There were soo many stars. To the right of our bed there was a wood-burning fireplace. The fire was burning; I adored the smell of wood burning. I could not have asked for anymore.

You took me into your arms. I loved being in your arms you kept me warm and I didn't want you to let me go. I told you I loved you and asked you why me? Why now? All you said was you knew me loved me and that was all that mattered. I took in every word you said. I thought about it for a minute or so you nudged me to see if I was still awake.

I inhaled your seductive smell and you kissed me on my forehead. You asked me if I “remembered” honestly I had no idea what you were talking about. You asked me two more times and final I seductively said, “oh I remember”. You then asked me to tell it to you.

To be continued…

The fantasy... Pt. 1

Yesterday you told me to pack my bag because you were taking me somewhere. I had a million and one questions for you but you refused to answer even one. You knew I had been stressed because of all my class work. It felt like it was close to the end of my last semester and I was stressed about graduating in a couple of months. So I was kind of hesitant to pack my bag not knowing when I would be back to do my work, but I trusted you so I packed my bag.

The next night you came over to my apartment and I made you dinner and you ate but I was afraid you would get sleepy while driving so I was hesitant on giving you seconds. You told me that you were so excited to see my face when we got where ever we were going that you would not fall asleep. After dinner I got my bag, but you told me you would get that for me. I love when you do that for me even though sometimes I get upset because I can do it myself.

We drove... and drove, listening to your iPod the music was bumping in the car. You held my hand the whole way there, even though I fell asleep while you drove. The mood in the car was lovely and I was happy you asked me to come. I still did not have any clue on where we were going but I was not as stressful then. When I woke up I saw soo much snow and a building that looked like a cabin.

I was smiling ear to ear and jumping up and down. You told me to get out the car and I almost fell out of the car because I was soo excited. I got out the car and you knew I would be cold and before I said anything you went to the trunk and got me a blanket. You wrapped it around me and I gave you the biggest hug. My words were soo jumbled up that I just kissed you passionately. You stopped me putting your index finger on my mouth and told me to wait. You took my hand and got our bags and we went inside the cabin looking building.

We checked in and I opened the door with the key. I was still so excited that I just told you to cover my eyes. You lead me to the bed sat me down and asked me to open my eyes. I started crying, I apologized to you for crying because I know you do not like me crying. You asked me why and I told you that you knew this was my dream and you made it come true. I was soo overwhelmed with emotion I gave you a hug and kiss.

Our room was so big traditionally decorated. We had a living room and a kitchenette, by the living room I saw some french door. I went over there when you went to the bathroom. I opened the doors and screamed your name. There was a jacuzzi outside! I turned on every switch that I saw. Then I started taking off my clothing while running to the bathroom. I knocked on the door and told you to grab two towels. I managed to take all my clothes off and jumped in the tub cause I could not wait for you.

To be continued...

Process

Process is the act or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end/ goal/outcome. Process in any setting such as relationships, class rooms, work, and just your everyday life can be easy and for some difficult. Although we do not think of it as such getting a job, breaking up, losing weight, etc. is a process. Even getting your point across is a process.

How do you deal with the process?

Well I never thought of the shortcuts I took or the steps I purposely missed for the sake of time and frustration. But in class we discussed process and it made it evident that not going through the proper process would prolong the end/goal/outcome. I thought about situations in my life where I missed a step or two just to avoid an argument. I realized that was unfair to the persons I had disagreements and even to myself.

I was cutting myself short of the process. My understanding was clouded by my lack of communication with others and myself. I realize now that that is cutting not only myself short but also others. I realize that what I do is the same as a person running away from their problems. I do not want to be that person that runs away when things get uncomfortable or tough. Now since I realized that I have been skipping parts of the process. Since I realize it now I have to do something about it.

When I realize that I am cutting myself or something short no matter how painful or uncomfortable the process is I have to strive to complete the process and not cut it short. In previous situations I've skipped processes and ended up with me and the other person confused. We let it go for the moment but kept on going back to the same conversation over and over and over again. It got annoying but I did not realize what I was doing.

Now I know my process flaws so now I have something to work on.

Wednesday Crush of the Week: Feloni

So I decided to start a blog once every hump day for a little boost to get you through the rest of the week. Hopefully it strikes conversation, blogging, gets you out of writers block, or maybe just as simple as a little eye candy... Enjoy!

Tracy Chapman Stand By Me

I just saw the first video where she performs this live and it was wonderful, I had to share. I also love the slide show in the other video... I wish she would just come to the US already. Enjoy!

Tracy CHAPMAN : Stand by me - Taratata
TARATATA N 320 (Tour. le 07/04/09 / Diff. France 4 le 26/06/09)

Mots-clés : tracy chapman tracy chapmane tracy cheapman chapman chapmane cheapman stand by me stand by me by me ben i king ben e king beneking 320 world reggae funk soul jazz

Video de mytaratata

Lesbians and Polygamy/Polyamory

I like Big Love I have not been able to watch the latest season but I cannot wait to catch up. Since I started to watch the show I thought about polygamy/polyamory in the lesbian community. Polygamy is not in the media theses days but we know it exists. Although Dalilah from Cherry Bomb mentioned her own polyamorous relationship, I really don't hear too much about it in the LGBTQ community. But I know it exists.

So How do you feel about polygamy/polyamory?

As a lesbian and a person of color I believe that in our LGBTQ community there should not be any discrimination within our community. We should support all in our community and not push them away. Internalized homophobia is not okay. This statement is only how I feel, but I know there are people in the LGBTQ community who do discriminate on their own.

Femme_Fluff talked about how the African-American lesbian community think it is soo taboo to see stud on stud relationships. But there is no problem with femme on femme relationships. (Who cares who I am sleeping with! It's my business!) We are supposed to be "family" but we sometimes don't act like we are family.

This is what the LGBTQ community is fighting for with Prop 8, but we cannot seem to accept our own. Just like we have a long way to go with same-sex marriage. I feel that we have a longer way to go with our own community accepting everyone "just the way they are". How are WE supposed to be accepted by mainstream if WE don't accept each other?

I would personally not have a problem with a polyamorous/polygamous relationship. I would of course make sure for me and everyone else involved that there is a clear understanding of the rules of the relationship. To ensure that no one will get "hurt" in the process.

So tell me how you feel...

Wednesday Crush of the Week: Marsha Ambrosius

So I decided to start a blog once every hump day for a little boost to get you through the rest of the week. Hopefully it strikes conversation, blogging, gets you out of writers block, or maybe just as simple as a little eye candy... Enjoy!

Wednesday Crush of the Week: Gabrielle Union

So I decided to start a blog once every hump day for a little boost to get you through the rest of the week. Hopefully it strikes conversation, blogging, gets you out of writers block, or maybe just as simple as a little eye candy... Enjoy!

Mind Reading Love

A couple of days ago Nona J. asked me a question about my question post. At first I did not understand what she meant by the question so I sent her a private message asking her what she meant by the question she asked. She explained to me a little about where she was coming from with the question then she rephrased it to say: Do you think love is fair without risks?

Thinking about it I would say no I don't think that love is fair without risks. I say this because I believe that loving someone is a big risk but it also has big rewards if the person loves you back. Love is also one of the biggest situations that you have to let yourself be vulnerable just for the sake of your own happiness.

Love's vulnerability is frightening. You put so much trust in the other person with your own created emotions. Really? That's love! When being vulnerable you put all your cards on the table and more. You share your deepest secrets with the hope that in return your partner shares some of their own deepest secrets.

The downfall to taking such a risk is not getting the reward of love from your partner back. It is easy to know and understand your own emotions however crazy they maybe, you know them. You really do not know how your partner thinks or feels about you... You can only ask and trust that she will be honest with you.

Loving someone is wonderful. You have all these emotions inside of you but you cannot describe the emotions in words, they flood your body and joy escapes. Like I said earlier love is a risk and we do take risks in life but for Evolving this is a big risk.

I believe that NO two people can be deeply in love with each other in the same way at the same exact moment. The only way I think that this is possible is if you are the person in love and you also are a very talented mind reader.

I am not saying two people cannot be in love because I see it everyday and it is soo beautiful. But I believe that love between two people are always slightly different. In life we express ourselves in many different ways. We taste, feel, see, smell, and hear things differently, although there are similarities there are also differences. Which in turn makes in quite impossible for two people to love the same exact way in the same exact moment (at least in my book).

What do you think about love? What has your experience been?

Remembering High School pt. I

During high school I modeled. I was linky and tall but I supposedly had the "look". The weekends were filled with traveling, photo shoots, and call backs. I was completely engolfed with the idea of me being a model. School was still important to me but this was my second love back then.

I knew what the model agencies looked for in models because I was around them. So during the week i brought that back to school. My high school was an all girls catholic school. During lunch I would sit and look at the other girls to "see" if they were model material. I would tell the girls and my lunch friends if I thought they were model material.

I did not get it back then but the girls felt uneasy when I told them things like that. I would say "you are soo beautiful" "Have you ever thought of modeling?" "and you are tall enough too!". My friends really didnt pay much attention to what I said to them, they were in their own little worlds surrounded by thoughts of boys from the other catholic schools in the area.

I know now that they were so uneasy because of the comments I made. I also know that it was more than me just telling them they were beautiful. I was attracted to them and their beauty. I didn't even realize it at the time.

At my school I knew of a handful of girls who were lesbians. Most of them were doms/studs/tomboys and like two of them were femmes/lipsticks. I did not like the doms/studs/tomboys AT ALL. There was just something about them that I did not like. I was uncomfortable around them for some reason. I would probably relate it now to the uncomfortable the girls felt when I told them they were beautiful.

Years later I came out as a lesbian. I don't consider myself a femme. I've dated women that considered themselves doms/studs/tomboys and femmes. I admire the androgyny in women and now I have no problems with doms/studs/tomboys.

Its funny how things from your past that meant nothing to you turn out to me something significant.

Just exploring Evolving...

(to be continued)